Help me Im feeling suicidal?

Hi my name is MaKenna and for the past year, year and a half I've been feeling suicidal. I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want them to think that I am being a drama queen or an attention addict. I also don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to go to a hospital or put on medication. I've been diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). I often have thoughts of how if should kill myself and how little it would effect the people in my life. Please someone help, this is pretty much my last resort, asking complete strangers because I don't have the courage or the confidence to tell or ask anyone else. Please someone help me.........